Monthly Archives: April 2020

The Beastmaster (1982) | Don Coscarelli

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The Beastmaster follows the hero, Dar (Marc Singer), the son of a king snatched away from his mother’s womb by a witch under the employ of the evil magician named Maax (Rip Torn). Maax had been prophesied to be killed by the son of a king (to which he takes to slaughtering all of the young’uns he can).  The intended infanticide is thwarted by a goodly peasant, who raises Dar as his own, and harnesses the boy’s skill in fighting and farming. Dar soon discovers an uncanny ability to communicate telepathically with whatever animals reside nearby.

Dar’s village is decimated by the evil forces known as the Jun, in cahoots with Maax.  Out for revenge, Dar enlists some newfound animal friends in the form of a panther, an eagle, and two ferret thieves, to bring down Maax before he slaughters any more innocents.  Also joining Dar is slave girl Kiri (Tanya Roberts), a valiant warrior named Seth (John Amos), and the son of the imprisoned king, Tal (Josh Milrad).

Directed and co-written by Don Coscarelli.

Sheena (1984) | John Guillermin

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The story of Sheena involves a young girl orphaned after her geologist parents are killed in a cave-in while exploring the source of mystical healing soil found near the jungle in the fictional African country of Tigora.  The native Zambouli villagers immediately adopt the girl, dubbing her “Sheena,” prophecied to be their savior and the future queen of the jungle.  Sheena grows up to be a strikingly beautiful woman (Tanya Roberts), learning how to communicate and control animals with her mind, ride a zebra, and other mystical arts.

Trouble brews in her territory when Prince Otwani (Trevor Thomas), an ex-football placekicker, joins in a plot to assassinate his brother, King Jabalani (Clifton Jones) so that he can gain untold riches from the fertile Zambouli lands he’s been protecting.  Shaman, one of the Zambouli leaders, is framed for the killing. Still, a visiting American sports news crew, led by charismatic sports reporter Vic Casey (Ted Wass), captures the events as they happen, showing that a significant coup was in play.  Otwani, wanting the incriminating tape back at any cost, sets about capturing Vic before he can escape, but with the help of Sheena and her animal friends, Casey means to get out of the country to set the record straight.

John Guillermin directs.

Red Sonja (1985) | Richard Fleischer

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An unofficial spinoff of sorts to the Conan franchise, Red Sonja starts off with Sonja (Brigitte Nielsen) as an attractive farm girl that evil lesbian Queen Gedren of Berkubane (Sandahl Bergman) finds fetching enough to invite over.  Sonja finds the offer so repulsive she ends up giving the queen’s face a nasty gash. Spurned, Sonja’s family is soon murdered by Gedren’s army, while they also destroy her home and she ends up raped by Gedren’s soldiers.

Gedren seeks a powerful talisman, which grows stronger the more exposure it has to light, enough to destroy the world if left unchecked within a couple of weeks. Gedren has the all-female guards (only women can touch it) at the temple protecting the talisman massacred and takes it for herself.

After a forest spirit grants her great abilities to wield a sword, Sonja vows revenge, soon going off to the Orient to train with the masters on sword fighting, who end up giving her a powerful sword. On her quest, she meets a mysterious stranger named Lord Kalidor (Arnold Schwarzenegger), a protector of the Order of the Talisman, who tells Sonja about her dying sister, who took an arrow to the back from one of the Queen’s soldiers. In her sister’s final words, Sonja gets a mission to stop Gedren’s quest to use the talisman to destroy the world, and she has fourteen days to do it.

Richard Fleischer directs this Dino De Laurentiis production.

Conan the Destroyer (1984) | Richard Fleischer

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Power-hungry Queen Tamaris of Shadizar (Sarah Douglas), who offers Conan (Arnold Schwarzenegger) a bargain. Taramis will resurrect his dead lover Valeria upon completion of a special mission. He is to assist with the protection of her niece, a young virgin princess named Jehnna (Olivia d’Abo). Jehnna travels with her bodyguard Bombaata (Wilt Chamberlain), to venture into the mystical castle to retrieve a key in the form of a magic jewel called the Heart of Ahriman that, by prophecy, only someone who bears the distinctive mark like Jehnna can touch. This key will unlock a fabled horn that promises to bring the dormant ‘dreamer god’ Dagoth to the mortal realm.  The twist is that, at the end of the quest, Jehnna is a sacrificial offering to Dagoth, and Conan and his friends shall die as well.  These friends include the great wizard Akiro (Mako), the agile warrior Zula (Grace Jones), and Conan’s comical sidekick, Malak, the thief (Tracey Walter). Richard Fleischer directs.